Live Like You're Dying

I've come to a scary realization... my days in Japan are numbered!! Of course, I knew before I came that the program ends in June, but since I've been in Japan I hadn't really thought of it. June seemed so far away... If my little clock widget is any indication, it'll be just a couple of months before I have to pack my bags and head home. *whimper

Don't get me wrong, I am ELATED at the prospect of eating deep dish pizza and peanut butter to my heart's content, but I'm going to miss Japan a lot. Though IUC and living on my own has been a challenge, I'm mostly content with how I've handled the transition. Everything from studying kanji while riding the train to scoping out the supermarkets for the best deals on produce has become a sort of cherished expression of freedom and responsibility. Objectively-speaking, I'm sure I could easily do these things in Chicago, but it somehow it just wouldn't be the same.

As I said, I'm mostly content. My Japanese is still not nearly as good as I want it to be. I think the problem is that teachers and host families tend to be almost painfully understanding of my limited and probably incorrect Japanese so I'm often spared having to fully explain myself. Thus when I then have to speak with people my own age who perhaps aren't mind-readers, I get self-conscious and revert into "please-understand-I-can-only-explain-in-nouns-and-gestures" mode.

I've been listening to David Sedaris' newest collection of essays on tape (well mp3 actually), When You Are Engulfed in Flames. I'm particularly fond of his "Smoking Section" series which covers his efforts to quit smoking while living in Japan. He brings up the point that Japanese is a listener's language, and I couldn't agree more. Given that subjects are often dropped in conversation and the general lack of plural forms in the Japanese language, being able to fill in the gaps on your own is CRITICAL.

Anyways, now is as good a time as ever to gather my remaining wits and redouble my efforts. Like the fleeting beauty of the cherry blossoms, my remaining time in Japan is going to be over sooner than I'd like. 頑張るしかない！